


Letters to louis

by StepTowardsTheLight



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Fluffy, Friendship, Jealously, Love, Love Bites, Love Letters, M/M, Rape, Rimming, Smut, angsty, moved house
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-07
Updated: 2013-03-07
Packaged: 2017-12-04 12:49:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/710955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StepTowardsTheLight/pseuds/StepTowardsTheLight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn and Louis used to be best friends, inseparable but then something happened that tore them up. Two years later and zayn uncovers Louis address, deciding to write to Louis once a year. Louis never replies but then some things happen and they meet again and well, they realize just how much they've missed each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. And I Wrote You A Love Letter

Sixteen year ago when Zayn Malik was only three Louis Tomlinson was his world, they were inseparable best friends since birth and all that, they did everything together and where one was the other one wouldn’t be far. The sleepovers and play dates and visits to each other were countless and if you’d tried to count them you’d have been declared mad. They grew up together and their friendship continued through nursery and primary school and middle school but then something happened, something that shook Zayn Maliks 11 year old world apart.

Louis was 13, he’d been entered into nursery two years late and refused to be put into any of the other classes even though he was two year older than everyone in his. He got teased and made fun of (called thick in most cases) but he didn’t let it bother him on most occasions because 1 he knew he wasn’t thick and 2 he had Zayn. Zayn may have been two years younger than Louis but Lou always felt safer with his best mate by his side, maybe that was why the incident shook him so much. He’d been walking home when it happened and Zayn was walking beside him, they’d been joking on and laughing so they didn’t notice it getting dark. They didn’t realize how dangerous it was to take the short cut through the alleyway until it was too late. Zayn was knocked out and Louis was raped, Louis knew it was wrong to think so but he couldn’t help but think Zayn could’ve done more to help and thinking like this made him insanely guilty. They’d both told their mothers about the incident and there was a big court case, a really big court case. The rapists where locked up but Louis couldn’t bare the sight of the town any more even with Zayn by his side and a month before the two were meant to go to high school together he moved away, far far away. Zayn never got over it.

Two years later, Zayns 13th birthday,

To Louis,

Hey man, It’s been two years hey? I miss you still, I don’t think I’ll ever stop missing you to be honest but that’s inevitable really and I hope your well wherever you are. Mum gave me this stationary set for my birthday and your address was the first thing that came to mind. You gave it to me two years ago when you left remember? I do…..I hope you still live here and I’m sorry if you don’t. I just wanted to speak to you man, I should’ve done this sooner really but I’d of felt to stupid. Two years is a long enough time to wait before you send a letter to someone you miss right? Actually it’s too long…..But whatever. You’re 15 now Lou aren’t you? Do you still get called that? Lou….That was always the name you got called here…God i sound like a love struck teenage girl don’t I? Well to be quite frank I feel like one, I should’ve helped more that night Lou, I should’ve fought more. I guess it’s my fault that you moved isn’t it really? Oh well, can’t change the past can we? No. Write back man if you get this and if you want to, I hope you will I really need you right now…

Zayn, January 12th 2006

1 year later,Zayn’s 14th birthday….

Hey louis,

I guess you didn’t get my last letter, or maybe you didn’t want to answer. I don’t mind but I’m not going to stop writing, I don’t want to. I won’t bother you much though, a letter every year on my birthday sounds good doesn’t it? I suppose…Thing’s are all weird around here without you still, It’s been three years and I still haven’t made new friends. I’m kind’ve an outcast now but i sort’ve like it, I’m like the schools “bad boy” It’s quite cool actually. Some kids are hating on me cos im muslim though but i just laugh, they’re stupid. You’d think so as well Lou, you really would. You’re 16 now, wow getting old man I really hope i can see you soon somehow. Unless you don’t want to, have you got a new best friend now? Don’t lie I honestly want to know…A girlfriend? Or is that to personal to be telling the childhood best friend you haven’t seen in three years? I guess it could be….I have something to tell you man, I was going to do it last year but you never wrote back. I’m gay, shocking huh? After what those men did but i don’t really care cos I’m trying hard to forget. I get a lot of stick for it at school (I came out on facebook; which reminds me do you have facebook?) But i don’t mind because you taught me to be myself. Write me back Lou, I’m missing you still.

Zayn, 12 january 2007

 

1 year later, Zayn’s 15th birthday

Hey Louis,

I meant it when I said I’d write a letter once a year, i guess you don’t really care though. You didn’t reply to my last letter either and I’m beginning to wonder if I’ve even got your right address, did you move again? If you did I’m sorry i didn’t write sooner, maybe then you could’ve given me your new address. Whatever it’s no use thinking maybe. I’m beginning to think you’ve forgotten me though man, I really hope you haven’t we were inseparable then weren’t we? I’m in counselling now Louis, I don’t think I need it but mum thinks i do. She found me cutting but it wasn’t my fault, some idiot beat me cos i’m gay. Damn i wish you were back here so you could help me cos no matter how many punches i throw back i still end up depressed. I took up smoking as well, not my best decision but it helps get rid of everything you know? I’ve started singing as well, it’s weird cos everyone thinks im good but i don’t…we used to sing together to, remember that? Mum certainly does, she says it’s hard to forget two noisy pre-teen lads singing so loudly. Those were the good days man and i’m missing them, missing you. I hope you reply this time, as lame as it sounds i’m begging you because i miss you man I really do….

Zayn, 12 january 2008

1 year later, Zayns 16th birthday

Hey Louis,

I’m beginning to think this is a bit stupid, you’ve moved away haven’t you? That’s why you’re not replying cos this is my third letter now and I think i’ve made it quite clear how much a letter back would mean to me. I just really hope I haven’t been forgotten, you remember me don’t you? Please say yes….I sound so desperate right now but damn i need a friend, I remember the second time i wrote to you i said i like being the “bad boy” but not anymore. I just need a friend and you’re the best friend i’ve ever had Lou. I got a boyfriend not long after the last letter i sent you but he was a prick, he beat me up real mad you might’ve seen it on the news. It was horrible Lou and i still have the bruises i just wish you’d been there to help me fight through it. Mum says i should stop writing to you so much but i don’t think i right to you enough, It’s annoying Lou cos you won’t reply and i should be mad but i’m not. Are you ignoring me? Trying to forget me? I hope not Lou cos at the minute the thought of you replying one day is all that’s keeping me alive. I’m still under counselling Lou but it’s not helping, they say the first step is to forget you and if i could i would Louis i really would. I sound so dumb right now but one reply, even if it’s two fucking words long, one reply from you would probably make all my pain go away….Bye Louis

Zayn, 12 January 2009

1 year later, Zayn’s 17th birthday

Hello Louis,

Another year another letter huh? It’s been four years now, this is my fifth letter and still no reply. I feel so fucking stupid sitting here and pouring my heart out to the stationary set i got when i was 13. Haven’t you noticed it’s always the same paper? I guess not cos you don’t fucking notice anything do you? I needed you last year and the year before that and before that and so on but you didn’t care. I’m angry now Lou because whatever happened to forever? Ok i left it two years before contacting you but it’s been four years since i tried to get back in touch you’d think one letter has been deserved huh? Obviously not. I’m going to audition for X factor this year, you know for my singing? You used to love it and i hope you still do because fuck if i win it you might actually acknowledge that i exist. You’re driving me crazy Louis and mum thinks you’re being a right dick, she won’t say that though but she thinks it I saw it in her eyes when i went up to the write this. I still feel like a love sick teenage girl writing these for you but it feels wrong to not write it. I know you haven’t moved away, sounds strange but i can just tell and i can just tell that you’ll read this so listen close. I’ve been abused, bullied, tormented, called a terrorist because of my religion, been labelled cos i smoke and i’ve deliberately hurt myself more times than healthy. The doctors are telling me I’m depressed and i believe them at the moment, one letter from you could stop all that so please just pick up a fucking pencil. It isn’t hard. I miss you lou and at this rate their might not even be a letter next year…

Zayn. 12 january 2010

1 year later, Zayns 18th birthday

Hiya Louis,

I went on X factor Lou, did you see me? It was great!! I got all the way to the quarter finals so you must of or at least maybe you heard my name on the radio! They’ve been playing my cover of How To Save A Life by The Fray on radio one for the last few weeks and i was in the x-factor christmas song!!! Despite all of this you still haven’t wrote back but it’s ok now i suppose, because I don’t need you. I’ve made friends Lou, friends who stay it touch and I might even get signed!!! I’ll be famous Lou just like i always dreamed. I forgot to ask you in the last letter actually, hows your acting going? You used to be really good at it when I knew you and i hope you got your break. I think next year will be my last letter Lou because if I’m honest with you I’m trying to move on. I set myself a resolution this year and i have it written in cursive and pinned above my bed “move on from louis” it says, it’s gonna be hard mate but you’ve done it haven’t you so i suppose i can. I’ve stopped smoking as well you know and cutting, I’m better now Lou and i regret to say it but it’s no thanks to you. I hope you had a good christmas Louis and a great birthday you’re 20 now aren’t you? Getting old….though i suppose i am to. Have you passed your driving test? Do you have a girlfriend? I don’t know why i’m asking questions cos you won’t answer them, you’re becoming more and more of an imaginary friend Louis and i honestly wish you’d never went away.

Zayn, 12th January 2011

 

1 year later…….

 

The twelfth of january was always a daunting prospect for Zayn, he always dreaded it because despite the fact that it was his birthday it also meant another letter to Louis and another year since the last one. Despite the fact that he was 19 now he still wasn’t quite over Louis something he was quite ashamed of actually. It had been 8 years since he’d last heard from the lad and it was weird that he still saw them as best friends. But despite the sense of dread that came with it he still woke up early that morning. He had to write his letter, post it and then get ready for his visit to a movie premier (his birthday present off his new best mate). Not to mention the fact that it would take at least two hours to get to where the premier was. 

It was because of this that he wrote the letter quickly, or at least he thought he did it quickly he actually took longer than he ever had before and it was because of this he had to skip posting the letter straight away and go get ready instead. He showered, did his hair and dressed but by the time he’d done so their was no time to go post the letter. He’d just have to send it after the premier. Shoving the letter into the back pocket of his black skinnies he gave himself one last once over in the mirror before running downstairs. The goodbye he gave his family was quick as he ran out the house and into his mates car. Greetings where exchanged and then a comfortable silence fell upon them. Neither lad spoke much during the journey, they didn’t have to as it was the idea of being in each others company that mattered anyway. Zayn smiled and looked out the window as his mate drove to where they were going, he was super excited for the movie premier and couldn’t believe that his mate had got tickets. However deep within his stomach he could feel butterflies wriggling, he was nervous and he wasn’t sure why. Obviously there was going to be media and stuff there but that wasn’t what bothered him, there was something else and he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

‘You wrote your letter man?’ Liam asked as he turned to the left into a car park. Zayn nodded, he’d told Liam all about Louis and Liam totally understood how he was feeling as his childhood best friend (A brown/blonde haired boy called Niall) had moved to Ireland when he was 14, the only difference was Niall wrote back to Liam….Liam smiled at Zayns reply. ‘Good.’ He said quietly the smirk on his face suggesting he knew something Zayn didn’t.

‘What Liam? What do you know?’ Zayn asked warily the butterflies in his tummy going from wriggly to jumpy in a fraction of a second. Liam said nothing as he parked the car up, he opened the door and got out still staying silent. Zayn did the same getting out and waiting for his mate to lock the car up before he asked again. ‘What do you know man?’ Liam smiled widely.

‘I just know you’re gonna be glad you brought the letter with you.’ Zayn’s mouth fell open. What? Was Liam implying that Louis was going to be there? All of a sudden the butterflies in Zayns stomach picked up speed and a smile spread across his face.

‘Have you arranged for me to meet Louis? How did you get him to agree to it?’ Liam’s face clouded over and his eyes became indifferent, a sure sign that he was hiding something, he was silent for a while but then he spoke again.

‘I haven’t exactly arranged for it to happen, in fact I’ve never even spoke to him but i know he’ll be there.’ Zayn looked confused as the two of them began to walk to where the premier was. 

‘What do you mean?’ He asked as they got directed to a ticket booth. Liam fumbled in his pocket, giving the man at the counter the tickets before holding out his wrist to get one of the wrist bands. Zayn did the same as he waited for Liam to answer.

‘Louis is the main character in this film, or at least someone with the name Louis Tomlinson who looks a lot like the Louis in the picture you showed me is. I thought if we came here and it was Louis you could maybe try and speak to him.’ Zayn felt like crying, he really did. Not caring how weird it would look he threw his arms around his mates neck and pulled him into a tight hug.

‘Thanks man, means a lot.’ Liam smiled and hugged him back, not caring that they were still in full view of the public and probably looked quite gay…

‘It’s no bother now lets hurry up and find somewhere good to stand so you can speak if it is him.’ Zayn nodded and walked beside his mate, a smile on his face. Inside he was nervous though, what was he going to say? They walked towards th growing crowd of people chatting happily and laughing when the odd girl recognised Zayn off the x factor and asked for a picture. It was still quite surreal to Zayn, being recognised, known and he wondered if Louis would recognise him as well. The pair of them stood up against the barrier about halfway to the cinema. With any look Louis would see them and Zayn was praying he’d be lucky.

It was an hour before any of the stars started arriving but Zayn didn’t care about any of them really, before he would’ve been begging for their autographs but now all that mattered was Louis. Liam however did get the signatures and a couple of pictures claiming Zayn would regret it if he didn’t but as long as Zayn saw louis he knew he wouldn’t regret much. He was beginning to get fed up when he heard a large group of girls scream the name he’d been dying to hear.

‘LOUUUIIIISSS’ They screeched as a feathery haired brunette in a black suit began walking down the red carpet towards them. Zayn craned his neck as the brunette walked over to the girls and began signing things, fumbling in his pocket to get out his letter. There was no doubt about it, that was Louis. He felt a surge of pride in his chest as the girls had their pictures taken began to cry, Louis had always wanted to be an actor and it was great that he’d made it so far. That fear quickly turned to fear as Louis got closer though, here he was a nineteen year old lad freaking out over the possibility of meeting the childhood best friend he lost when he was 11. It was sad, incredibly so but fuck he didn’t care cos this was Louis. He held his autograph book out and ran a hand through his hair still holding his letter in the hand with the book. 

‘Louis?’ He asked feigning curiosity as his old mate signed his book. The brunette looked up and his jaw dropped. 

‘Zayn?’ He whispered recognition flooding his face. A smile filled Zayns face as the boy recognised him. Louis looked scared as Zayn handed him the letter. ‘You still write these?’ He asked taking the paper off the black haired boy. Zayn nodded.

‘Yeah…you got them?’ Louis nodded and once again curiosity flooded his face, this time it was real though. ‘Then why didn’t you answer?’ Louis looked guilty and was about to speak when a girl screaming interrupted him.

‘Look i can’t tell you now.’ Louis said quickly. ‘but meet me at the cafe round the corner in three hours and i’ll tell you everything.’ Zayn nodded and watched as his mate walked away, the lime green envelope clutched in his hand as he singed autographs and leaned into pictures. The next three hours wouldn’t go quick enough. Eventually the time came for Zayn to go to the little cafe, Liam drove him there and against Zayn’s protests decided to wait outside. Zayn appreciated Liam looking after him but surely he didn’t need looking after, it was Louis after all and surely Louis would just be apologizing for not replying to the letters….

The black haired boy took a seat near the window of the cafe and ordered a mug of coffee, looking out the window waiting patiently for his old friend to come. He sipped patiently at his drink, tapping on the table as he hummed slightly. It didn’t occur to him that Louis might not come and he didn’t want to think about what would happen if Zayn didn’t turn up. He waited for what felt like hours until eventually Liam came to get him and take him home, a feeling of emptiness consumed him as he fell asleep that night. Why had Louis got his hopes up like that?


	2. Liar Liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a year, a whole fucking year since Louis said he’d speak to Zayn and didn’t. Zayns livid over it, completely furious but he decides that he’s still going to write a letter anyway. So he does but the funniest thing happens, Louis replies. It’s only a few words, meet me at the cafe where we used to meet after my football practices but it leaves Zayn in shock. Foolishly and against Liams will Zayn goes to meet him and it may have been the best decision of his life.

To say Zayn was dreading his birthday, his 20th birthday would be a massive understatement. Because although it marked a large turning point in his life, the turning from teen to adult it also marked another year since “the incident” as him and Liam now called it. Another year since Louis had promised to speak to him and never showed up. Zayn’s heart had been broken that day yet despite that he still found himself going up to his room to write Louis letter. The 8th letter. His mum was against it, Liam was against it, heck he was against it but it just felt wrong not to. Sighing he sat down at his desk and pulled at a sheet of the paper, the paper he’d had since he was 13 refusing to use for anything but writing to Louis and began to write, the anger he still held towards Louis spilling out on the page.

Louis,

Liar. That’s what you are to me now, a liar. You left me Louis, you left me waiting in a fucking cafe for hours, you never even showed up. You promised me you’d meet me, explain why the fuck you haven’t replied to any of my letters, acknowledged my presence in any way. I call bullshit on that promise, you didn’t even have the decency to write and explain why you didn’t show up. You left me Louis in more than one way and this is definitely my last letter. I’m not even annoyed at you if i’m honest, im disappointed. What happened to friends forever Louis? It means nothing to me now. Liam and mum have both advised me to not write this, to leave it be but I can’t. I can’t because i still fucking love you Louis, you’re still my world and it honestly killed me when you didn’t even show. This is my last letter though, i promise you that. I’m 20 today Louis, it’s been what? 7 years since the first one and i haven’t had a single reply. I hope you get this Louis, i really do because this is me saying goodbye to you and our friendship. It’s me telling you that i dont need you anymore and i dont want you either.

Goodbye, love Zayn.

Zayn took a deep breath as he place the letter in it’s envelope, putting the stamp on and writing out the address he’d memorized long ago. Sometimes he wondered what would happen if he just turned up to Louis house, just visited the address on his envelope but he never did because in all honesty the thought of seeing Louis all happy with a new life was scary. He got up off his desk chair, the letter clutched in his hand and ran down to the post office. The person who worked there gave him a sympathetic look as Zayn posted his 7th letter, the whole town knew about Louis and it annoyed Zayn to no end that they felt sorry for him. Once the letter was posted Zayn went home, trying to celebrate the rest of his birthday like a normal 20 year old would but he couldn’t, the only thought on his mind was Louis.

The next day Zayn woke up early and, like he had on his past 7 years went straight downstairs to see if the post man had been. He crossed his fingers, as was routine and padded softly down the stairs. He couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw a white envelope with his name in large print on the front. He picked it up gingerly, opening it with careful fingers. He almost dropped it when he realized it was from Louis.

‘Shit.’ He mumbled in shock as he sat down on the kitchen counter and began to read, his fingers trembling. He read the letter a total of 20 times before what it said actually sunk in, Louis wanted to meet him, tonight! At first he was sceptical but the fact that Louis had actually bothered to reply had to mean something. He took a deep unsure as to what he was going to do, on one hand he was upset and angry Louis had taken this long to reply but on the other Louis had sounded really apologetic in the letter. He let out a sigh and decided to call Liam.

‘Leyum.’ He called down the phone as a very groggy sounding Liam picked up. ‘Leeeyyum’ He continued when Liam swore at him.

‘Harry fuck off.’ Liam mumbled through a yawn. ‘It’s fucking saturday, go back to sleep.’ Zayn laughed slightly at the tone in Liam’s voice.

‘Can’t.’ He said. ‘Because i just got a letter off Louis.’ He could practically hear Liam waking up.

‘What?’ The boy called down the phone his voice going from groggy sleep deprived zombie to demanding over protective friend/father in about two seconds. ‘What does he want.’ Zayn took a deep breath,

‘He wants to meet me, tonight in the cafe where we used to go after his football practice and my extra art lessons. The letter said something about explaining and apologizing.’ Zayn heard Liams sharp intake of breath and knew his mate was already very against the idea.

‘You’re not thinking of going are you?’ Liam asked carefully, his voice going into full on “daddy” mode. ‘Not after what he did surely you’re not thinking of it.’ Zayn sighed.

‘See that’s the thing Liam, i’m going.’ Liam was silent for a moment, obviously shocked but when he did speak he sounded furious.

‘Zayn.’ He said lowly. ‘Zayn don’t do this, remember what happened last time?’ Zayn sighed once more.

‘Yeah, yeah i do but i’m still going Li, i just thought i’d tell you in case it all went wrong.’ He could hear Liam yelling at him that it would go wrong, that he would be left heart broken but he didn’t care, he just hung up. He knew he was being stupid going along with this after the movie premier incident but he just had to see Louis again. He ran upstairs to get showered and dressed trying to be as quiet as possible so his mum wouldn’t wake up. She would blow her lid if she found out he was going to see Louis, she’d developed quite a hatred for his former best friend over the years and would be very against this meeting. Zayn let out a sigh and got into the shower, washing his body and hair carefully he wanted to look good for meeting Louis. When he was finished in the shower he pulled on some black skinny jeans, a plain white t-shirt, black converse and bracelets on his wrist. He gave himself a nod in the mirror before shoving his wallet into his pocket and walking back downstairs, after getting his car keys and writing a small note to his mum he left, butterflies going mental in his stomach.

The drive to the cafe that he hadn’t visited since Louis left passed by way quicker than it should have and Zayn supposed that was due to his nerves. He was actually shaking by the time he’d parked his car in the parking lot and his legs seemed to resemble jelly. It took a lot of courage to get out the car and walk into the cafe and not just because that was his and Louis cafe. They’d been walking home from said cafe when it happened, the incident that took Louis innocence and left Zayn heartbroken. Zayn hadn’t been inside the place since he was 11 but it hadn’t changed one bit, something that was both good and bad. He got quite a shock when he realized it was the same waitress working the till as it had been when he was 11 and she was equally as shocked.

‘Zayn?’ She questioned as he ordered a coffee and a slice of carrot cake. He nodded shyly.

‘Yeah.’ He said quietly as he took his food gently. She smiled.

‘Haven’t seen you in a while, how have you been?’ Zayn was about to reply with a good, thanks when the bells above the cafe door jingled signalling that someone had walked in. Zayns eyes darted towards the entrance and widened when he saw who was standing in the doorway. Turns out Louis had shown up after all. The waitress smiled as Louis ordered, not speaking though as she realized that Louis and Zayn wanted to be left alone.

‘Thank you.’ Louis said as he collected his food and drink before leading Zayn to their old table right at the back of the cafe. Zayn sat down timidly, not making eye contact with his supposed best friend.

‘Hey.’ He said quietly when Louis sat down as well, taking a sip of his tea. Louis gave him a small smile.

‘Heya.’ He replied his voice quiet as he took in Zayns appearance, he couldn’t deny the fact that his old mate was gorgeous. ‘Look Zayn I’m sorry.’ he said getting straight to the point. ‘i shouldn’t have left you, I shouldn’t have ignored your letters. It was stupid and selfish and i regret it more thank anything.’ Zayn bit his lip, looking up into the blue eyes that he’d missed so much.

‘Why’d you do it then?’ He asked. ‘Why has it taken you 7 years to realize this? I needed you Louis and you left me.’ Louis looked guilty. He took another sip of his tea, a bite of his cake before he put his hand over Zayns in a comforting manner.

‘It didn’t take me 7 years to realize it, it took me 7 years to grow up and get enough courage to speak to you. My parents blamed you for what happened Z and when we moved away they told me they didn’t want me speaking to you because of it. They still gave me all the letters but for 7 years i was too scared to write back because they made me believe it was your fault to. I realized last year how wrong that was and how stupid i’d been but i just wasn’t ready to speak to you about it. I’m so sorry’ A tear slid down Zayns cheek.

‘It’s alright Louis.’ He said quietly. ‘I forgive you.’ Louis whole face lit up and all of a sudden lips were pressed against Zayns. His eyes widened in pure shock as Louis kissed him but he didn’t pull away, he couldn’t pull away because as cheesy as it sounded it just felt right. However eventually he had to pull away and when he did so his eyes were stil filled with shock. ‘Louis.’ He said warily as the other boy stared at him. ‘What was that?’ Louis let out a sigh.

‘Do you wanna know another reason why i was scared to reply or speak to you?’ Zayn nodded, his eyes still wide. ‘Because i love you.’


	3. And It Feels Like Jealously

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They’ve kissed and made up, finally and quite literally. It feels like an age since the day in the coffee shop when the first i love you was uttered and a lot more have escaped both boys lips since then. Zayn forgave Louis, Louis pushed away his fears, their together now and they love it. However quite a few people aren’t as happy, Liam Payne being one of those people. He loved Zayn and when Louis came swirling back he wasn’t best pleased. He tries his hardest to get his hands on Zayn in a more romantic way but naturally Louis has to ruin it. Naturally.

Zayn stared at Louis completly shocked, his heart was still fluttering from the kiss they’d shared and now louis had dropped this on him. He blinked slightly thinking he’d imagined it but knowing he hadn’t. He was frozen between running away and kissing Louis again and the feelings he had were shocking. He thought he’d escaped his love for Louis but he was evidently very, very wrong.

“I dont quite know what to say Lou.” he said quietly staring into Louis blue eyes, biting his lip. “I mean i forgive you and i wan’t to be friends again but you ignored me because you love me?” he said his voice cracking slightly with shock. Louis sighed and bit his lip a little before speaking quitely.

‘I was scared of falling for you, scared of being hurt again. I associated love with sex and well you know what happened.” he sighed looking at Zayn wide eyed. “But yeah i love you zayn. I thought ignoring your letters and pushing you away would stop my feelings but it didn’t. I cant ignore it anymore, it hurts me too much and it hurts you as well. I love you Zayn.’ He repeated. Zayns mouth fell open and he found himself standing up. 

‘Louis i’ll call you or t-text you.’ He stuttered. ‘I just, i just need to go n-now.” he managed to say as he ran out the coffee shop to his car. He got in quickly, doing his belt up in record timing before starting the engine up and heading towards Liams house. Liam may be mad at him for going to meet Louis against his advice but he was the only person who’d be able to help him. 

The drive to Liams house was quick and uneventful which gave Zayn a lot of time to think, time to dwell over things he didn’t necessarily want to dwell over. He was as scared as Louis had been of love considering what his last boyfriend had done to him and it chilled him to the bone to think that Louis, his old best friend was in love with him. And it wasn’t so much the fact that Louis loved him that scared him, it was the fact that he loved Louis back. He practically ran up to Liams house craving the reassurance he knew liam would give him. He knocked on the door urgently, biting his lip as Liam opened the door.

‘Bloody hell Zayn.’ Liam said as he opened the door frowning just a little. ‘Are you trying to knock my door down?’ It was a joke and Zayn knew it but he shook his head anyway, his eyes wide. and his lip still being nibbled nervously. Liam sensed something was wrong and sighed a little. ‘You’d better come in’ He said softly. Zayn nodded with a small thankful smile and stepped into the house he knew so well. Liam put his arm around Zayns shoulders and led him up to his bedroom. ‘Whats up?’ He offered kindly as Zayn sat down

‘L-Louis.’ Zayn managed to stutter out. Liams eyes went cold.

‘What did he do this time?’ He said sounding slightly angry. Zayn bit his lip.

‘He didn’t do anything.’ He said quietly, Liam frowned slightly. ‘It was what he said.’ Zayn continued which caused another frown to take over Liams face. Zayn took a deep breath. ‘Well we spoke for a bit and he apologized and i said i forgave him then….then he kissed me and said he loved me.’ Zayn breathed out. Liams face went from frowning to a look of pure shock.

‘He what?’ He said his eyes bugging out. Zayn bit his lip.

‘He told me he loved me.’ Zayn repeated, sounding slightly shell shocked. Liam’s face fell slightly.

‘Oh.’ He said softly, biting his lip. ‘Well that’s err, nice.” he didn’t sound to happy, in fact he sounded quite sad. Zayn looked at him curiously.

‘You ok mate?’ He asked looking at Liams eyes which seemed to be full of sadness. Liam bit his lip and looked up at Zayn. 

‘N-no I’m not.’ He stuttered just a little, his brown eyes still sad. Zayn gave him a look, silently asking him to elaborate. ‘Z-zayn you still have feelings for Louis don’t you?’ He asked his voice lacking much emotion. Zayn nodded not wanting to say anything directly. Liam bit his lip. ‘I thought so…’ He trailed off.

‘Liam whats wrong?’ Zayn asked warily concerned now. Liam let out an almighty sigh.

‘Do you know how i took you to the movie premier? And i let you come round whenever you need something?’ He asked before biting his lip again. Zayn nodded not sure where this was going. ‘It’s cos i love you.’ Zayn ran after that. He ran straight out liams bedroom, down the stairs and out the house. Tears fell down his cheeks as he ran and ran. He couldn’t take it anymore, he hated the fact that Liam loved him, he hated the fact that he was still in love with Louis. He hated everything. He ran and ran some more, collapsing to the floor when he realized that he’d only gone and ran to Louis old house. He felt like a mess and the feeling only got worse when louis himself came out the house. He took one look at Zayn before picking him up and carrying him into the house.

‘Whats wrong?’ He said softly setting zayn down on the sofa and hugging him closely. Zayn sighed melting into Louis touch.

‘Liam just told me he loved me.’ He said quietly, even though Louis didn’t know Liam. Louis froze.

‘Oh.’ He said quietly. ‘Hows that a problem?’ Zayn took a deep breath and looked up at louis only now becoming aware of how close they were.

‘Because i love you.’ He said softly not quite believing his own ears as the words he’d been holding inside since he was 13 escaped his lips. Louis looked shocked, his blue eyes widened. He was silent for a minute before he leaned in, kissing zayn square on the lips. Zayn was shocked at first but eventually he relaxed, his arms wrapping around Louis neck as he leaned into the brunette. All his previous feelings slipping out his mind because fuck he needed this, he just wasn’t sure what this was. They kissed passionately for a good while, mouths open and tongues entwining but then Louis pulled away, his blue eyes filled with love and lust.

‘I want you Zayn.’ He said softly as if asking for permission. Zayn grinned kissing Louis quickly on the lips once more.

‘Good cos i want you too.’ He mumbled against Louis mouth. Louis grinned and then their lips were together once more, Louis hands holding Zayns hips and pulling him onto his lap. Zayn pushed his hips down on Louis, grinding them together, whimpering slightly into louis mouth. Louis moaned into his, his hands straying from Zayns hips as he pulled Zayns shirt off. Zayn returned the favour, puling Louis own shirt off still grinding there hips together. ‘I need you so bad.’ Zayn mumbled as louis flipped him over, pulling his pants and boxers off so he was completely naked. Louis grinned and placed a kiss to the tip of Zayns dick.

‘And you can have me.’ He said softly before lifting zayns legs up in the air. Zayn whimpered as air rushed to his most sensitive place and he cocked his head to the side in anticipation of what Louis was going to do. Louis smirked up at him before lowering his tongue to Zayns entrance causing Zayn to mewl in surprise. Louis moaned against the puckered ring of muscle and before he himself knew what he was doing he lowered his head so it was right between the younger boys legs licking at his entrance. Zayn had heard about rimming but he’d never actually experienced it and fuck had he been missing out. He moaned loudly as the brown haired haired boy licked round his hole, poking his tongue into the tight ring and couldn’t help but push down slightly

‘Fuck Zayn.’ Louis moaned out as he moved his head out from between the blondes legs. ‘You’re so desperate for this.’ He said empathising the word desperate as his fingers traced over the spot his tongue had been licking only seconds before. ‘Do you want me?’ He asked almost teasingly. Zayn nodded eagerly.

‘Yeah louis.’ He breathed out. ‘God i need you so bad.’ That was all the encouragement Louis really needed, he licked over Zayns hole a little more to lube it up a bit before lining himself up. He fucked into Zayn slowly and carefully being sure to give him time to adjust when he yelped in pain and scratched at Louis back. And he was sure to speed up when moans of “harder” and “faster” fell from zayns lips. Zayn was a moaning mess under Louis and his eyes were squeezed shut in pleasure, his mouth open in an O shape. 

‘fuck Zayn’ Louis murmured as Zayn clenched around him. ‘God your tight.’ Zayn merely hummed a response, not having the words to reply. They carried on like this until orgasms bubbled in their stomachs and they found themselves cumming together twin cries of each others names escaping their lips. Louis pulled out of Zayn, admiring the way his cum dripped down Zayns tan thighs and lay next to zayn on the couch his arms wrapped around his waist as he sucked a lazy lovebite on Zayns neck.

‘Mine.’ He whispered. Zayn smiled, he wasn’t sure what they were going to do tomorrow, or the day after and he had no idea what he was going to do about Liam but he was happy for the moment because he had his louis back.


End file.
